Freshly Roasted Coffee Beans

Let’s take a stroll together?

When the sun set not too long ago, and the city unwraps into a different one. The air is crisp and cool, just enough to wear a thin cardigan. We breathe in the cool air, while being comforted by the warmth of the wool on our skin. The city becomes decorated with lights. Suddenly all becomes lively, bright and exciting. Where was it hiding until now?

When we walk briskly amidst crowds of strangers, they seem not so strange anymore. They become like fireflies who’ve met for a common mission in the dark. A mission to find whatever it is they are in search of. A mission to be paired and loved.

We take a turn into a smaller side street. Suddenly all quietens for a moment. We’ve diverted our path from the others, and decided to go on our own. It’s peaceful, and also uncertain. What might be at the end of this path? But at least you are with me. I don’t fear getting lost.

But lost we are not. At every curve and corner of the narrow street, familiar strangers welcome and greet us, giving us assurance that we are on the right path. Lights dispersed at regular intervals show us the way. I can count the pieces that make up the stone path. We breeze through waves of shades, of shadows and lights from lamps, and objects that get in its way. One second our path seems so dark, so difficult to see. I grasp your hand more firmly for assurance. Just a mere second later, all is bright again, and everything clear.

And suddenly, we are hit with an aroma. An aroma of freshly roasted coffee beans. It encircles us, enters us, and draws us to itself, into a cosy haven that we call our own. Finally, we’ve arrived.

I don’t drink coffee immediately. First I grasp the cup between my two hands, feel the warmth of it, keep it close to me for a long time, and deeply breathe in before taking the first sip.

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Just Another Amusing Story Over Dinner

I like seeing the world through other people’s eyes. Learning about their life. Seeing things from their perspective.

It makes me realize how grand the universe is, how limitless the possibilities. However large my problems may seem, through another’s eyes, they might seem small.

No matter how difficult or bad you think your life is, trust me, there is someone out there who would change places with you in a heartbeat. Concentrate on the good. Console yourself.

Think of time, time which will make all things pass, and all wounds heal. And when it does, all of the pain you feel right now, it will be as though it never happened.

It will be a long forgotten dream from another lifetime. All of your problems will one day be a faint memory that you will struggle to remember. Just another story that you tell your friends over a warm, intimate meal together, for mere amusement.

Just wait for that day.

Truths, Cynics, and the Greatest Love of All

Some believe that love is about another person. No. Love is about ourselves.

It’s about how it makes us feel. It’s the emotions, thoughts, dreams and expectations that we attach to an idealized image of someone else.

And again some believe that love means being with another person. But loving someone doesn’t mean that you have to be with them. It doesn’t mean that the person is right for you or will make you happy and vice versa. It doesn’t even mean that the person is good. Love is not logical. It’s not pre-programmed and it doesn’t fit into a rigid construct. Sometimes, loving someone just means that the person takes up some space in your mind and heart. Maybe forever, and maybe not. And still, that person in your mind and heart is not the real one… it’s the idealized image of that person… because that’s the only one we ever want to keep.

Who is this soul mate that everyone keeps talking about? Is there such a thing? What does a soul mate look like? How do you know it’s him?

What if a soul mate is not a spouse or life companion in the traditional sense? But rather just someone who understands us and accepts us completely and without reservation? Why must all be found in one magical person? Who can satisfy us emotionally, intellectually and physically? Is that the soulmate, the one person who can accomplish all three?

I’ve always longed for a soulmate. Not finding him forced me to broaden my mind.

The alternative truth about all of this is that we are made to believe by society that all of us– our thinking and way of life– must fit into a single box. We are born, we study, we work, we get married, we have children, we raise them, we retire, and we die. Everyone falls in love. Everyone finds someone suitable for themselves. Everyone has a soulmate.

Today I want to tell you the reality. None of this is true. Some people fall in love, and often not mutually. Most people do not find someone suitable for themselves, and few people have what they call a soulmate. And ALL people compromise.

The world is not the cinematic fantasy driven into our heads and hearts as children. Life is challenging and it almost never turns out the way we plan. The true secret to happiness is compromise. Compromising in all areas of life and learning to be content with what we have and not what could have been.

Your elementary school teacher lied to you. What she should have said was: “You cannot be anything you want. You cannot accomplish all of your dreams. But as long as you keep trying, it’s okay.”

From young, we are taught that anything is possible and acquiring our wishes are inevitable. But it’s not what we acquire or don’t, it’s how we tried and how we overcame the challenges along the way.

The truth is that no one is a failure. If people’s success in life was measured by the unrealistic and shockingly over-exaggerated expectations imposed by society– such as wealth, status, appearance and health– you can be certain that no one can be termed to be successful.

I’m not trying to be fatalistic. Of course we can change aspects of our life, but I also believe that there is a limit to what we can change about some areas. For example, no matter what you do, you may never be a millionaire or a CEO. There are only a few areas of your life which you can change without limits and which do not require miracles, well at least for most. And that’s knowledge, belief, and ethics.

There are no limits in expanding and broadening these. No one can prevent you from obtaining them and you can reach as far as you wish. Good thing is that these are actually the only things that matter. And as long as you keep trying, you can never fail, because in all three, the path is the destination. Every day that you try, you succeed.

Going back to soulmates, I suppose one is always a cynic until it happens. I meant, if it happens.

The adorable thing about the human heart is that it’s like a mischievous free child. It forgets. It’s always happy, and it’s always hopeful about the future. The greatest cynic in the world cannot deny those moments of weakness, when the dark, gloomy clouds of pain, sadness and disappointment depart, revealing that glimmering all-powerful ray of hope, however small it may be, that love exists. There, far away, somewhere in the distance, it awaits, to be found and to find.

Some believe that love is about another person. No. Love is about ourselves.

And maybe it’s about our love for the greatest love of all– the One who is most loving.