The Lovebug

We all know someone. Maybe a love prospect that was unrequited or maybe one that ended in heartbreak. Someone who is not in love. Maybe success is the utmost ambition for this person, and all else mere needs that are to be filled, by someone or another. Perhaps people are just tools in their eyes, or ladders, allowing them to reach what they need in that moment. Value is allotted to others depending on their present utility.

If you’re not loved back by someone like that, don’t let it get to you. Don’t take it personally. Especially because love is not something that can be artificially implanted into another’s soul. No one knows why it takes root in one, and not another. I believe it’s part of a divine plan. A mercy, a miracle that God distributes in very chosen, specific, and timely ways.

I also believe that no one escapes the bite of the lovebug forever. If not today, then one day… if not you, then someone, that person too will be bitten. Because that’s how love works. Love is not something that we obtain and then keep forever. It’s a trigger. A trigger that causes change and transformation in who we are. It’s a key that unlocks different versions of ourselves and takes us on journeys, both inward and outward. And no matter how far one runs away from it, it will catch up with everyone eventually. And when it does, love will hit that person harder than any of us.


Don’t Give Hurt Back


“Now I can see that I bring out the worst in you. Let me just help you to not say something that you’re just going to torture yourself about for years to come.” You’ve Got Mail (1998)

Be who you want to be, no matter the circumstances. Sometimes we get emotional, we get hurt, we get frustrated. We want to point out the faults in others. We want them to understand how much they’ve hurt us, and maybe even pay for their mistakes. Although it seems attractive, it won’t make you happy. It won’t give you what you want and it won’t make anyone have an epiphany and change. But it may hurt their feelings, and then you end up being the same.

I used to think that not opposing the wrongdoings of others made me weak and foolish. I used to think that it meant being taken advantage of. I felt it a duty to present a mirror to them, make them face themselves, and the dark sides of that self.

But then I realized that no one wants to know. And no one is going to change unless they want to. And if that does happen, it will something internal for them and not something that you initiate. And in trying to show the shortcomings of others and make them face it, I realized that I was being judgmental, defensive and mean. But I don’t want to be that person, I am not that person.

Does being kind and forgiving and loving only apply when others treat us the same way? Of course not. If we truly are the kind people we claim to be, we have to be kind even to those who are not kind to us, no matter what they have done and how much they have hurt us.

This is not weakness. This does not mean that you have to give yourself up to that person. It doesn’t mean you have to be with them or do as they say. You still decide how that person will be in relation to you. You still prevent them from hurting you again. But without hatred or anger, without giving hurt back.

It can be extremely difficult to accomplish this. I’m still working on it. When we are very emotional and sensitive, it is difficult to think straight. You may not get it right the first time around. If you don’t, it’s okay. Apologize and move on. I never feel small by apologizing. If I make a mistake, I will own up to it. I will say sorry, and I will move on.

Listen to this:–Compassion-TaraBrach.mp3