Sometimes, I feel like I’m living in a dream world. A world of unpredictable chaos. A world where purity is unappreciated, feelings are misunderstood. I’m misunderstood.
They say that everyone and everything is connected. But how can a world connected to me, be so different? So indifferent?
I want to be rid of my emotions. I want to lose all feeling. I want to be an apathetic, unaffected entity. One that cannot be influenced, cannot be harmed. I want to be a machine. Something uncomplexed by a myriad of emotions that tangle and untangle daily.
I want to be rid of all the expectations, judgments, stereotypes, rules that weigh on my conscience, that prevent me from being who I am, at any moment. At this moment.
I want a companion, who is not the destination, but has the same destination. I want us to reach it together.
I’m tired. Of myself. Of working on myself. I just want to let go.
Can I just let go?