The Battle of Heart and Mind

Sometimes, we walk away from something even though it is difficult to do so. Sometimes we do it hoping that we’ll find ourselves back there once again in a wishfully not too distant future. And sometimes we do it knowing that it’s the only way, and nothing else was ever meant to be.

Have you followed your heart and regretted having done so?

 

The heart is always right, I once thought,

Wise in a way I don’t understand.

Sending signs of a beautiful future,

That is only waiting for me to take a step.

 

Oh how I have followed my heart,

And bended and groveled, and threw myself at its mercy…

How I’ve rushed to its wants and desires and treaded on its heels abidingly,

Believing that it would take me to where I needed to be. 

 

But the fickle heart carries no wisdom at all.

It runs and chases and gets carried away.

A brittle leaf on a rapid stream, unaware and uncaring.

Invincible it feels, but oh so severely it breaks,

Into millions of pieces, large and small.  

But learn, it does not.

Who but the heart has such audacity,

To get hurt willingly again and again?

 

The mind on the other hand, he has wisdom.

Free of enslaving whimsies and emotions that disease the heart,

You can count on your mind to give you sound advice.

Careful and thoughtful it treads.

Measuring and calculating, it does.

It plans, and plans, and plans.

 

The mind with its realities and analyses

Battles the unreliable craze that is the heart.

High and drugged on romantic thrills,

It pleads and nudges you to ignore your mind. 

 

Whoever wins the battle, you become.

 

Truths, Cynics, and the Greatest Love of All

Some believe that love is about another person. No. Love is about ourselves.

It’s about how it makes us feel. It’s the emotions, thoughts, dreams and expectations that we attach to an idealized image of someone else.

And again some believe that love means being with another person. But loving someone doesn’t mean that you have to be with them. It doesn’t mean that the person is right for you or will make you happy and vice versa. It doesn’t even mean that the person is good. Love is not logical. It’s not pre-programmed and it doesn’t fit into a rigid construct. Sometimes, loving someone just means that the person takes up some space in your mind and heart. Maybe forever, and maybe not. And still, that person in your mind and heart is not the real one… it’s the idealized image of that person… because that’s the only one we ever want to keep.

Who is this soul mate that everyone keeps talking about? Is there such a thing? What does a soul mate look like? How do you know it’s him?

What if a soul mate is not a spouse or life companion in the traditional sense? But rather just someone who understands us and accepts us completely and without reservation? Why must all be found in one magical person? Who can satisfy us emotionally, intellectually and physically? Is that the soulmate, the one person who can accomplish all three?

I’ve always longed for a soulmate. Not finding him forced me to broaden my mind.

The alternative truth about all of this is that we are made to believe by society that all of us– our thinking and way of life– must fit into a single box. We are born, we study, we work, we get married, we have children, we raise them, we retire, and we die. Everyone falls in love. Everyone finds someone suitable for themselves. Everyone has a soulmate.

Today I want to tell you the reality. None of this is true. Some people fall in love, and often not mutually. Most people do not find someone suitable for themselves, and few people have what they call a soulmate. And ALL people compromise.

The world is not the cinematic fantasy driven into our heads and hearts as children. Life is challenging and it almost never turns out the way we plan. The true secret to happiness is compromise. Compromising in all areas of life and learning to be content with what we have and not what could have been.

Your elementary school teacher lied to you. What she should have said was: “You cannot be anything you want. You cannot accomplish all of your dreams. But as long as you keep trying, it’s okay.”

From young, we are taught that anything is possible and acquiring our wishes are inevitable. But it’s not what we acquire or don’t, it’s how we tried and how we overcame the challenges along the way.

The truth is that no one is a failure. If people’s success in life was measured by the unrealistic and shockingly over-exaggerated expectations imposed by society– such as wealth, status, appearance and health– you can be certain that no one can be termed to be successful.

I’m not trying to be fatalistic. Of course we can change aspects of our life, but I also believe that there is a limit to what we can change about some areas. For example, no matter what you do, you may never be a millionaire or a CEO. There are only a few areas of your life which you can change without limits and which do not require miracles, well at least for most. And that’s knowledge, belief, and ethics.

There are no limits in expanding and broadening these. No one can prevent you from obtaining them and you can reach as far as you wish. Good thing is that these are actually the only things that matter. And as long as you keep trying, you can never fail, because in all three, the path is the destination. Every day that you try, you succeed.

Going back to soulmates, I suppose one is always a cynic until it happens. I meant, if it happens.

The adorable thing about the human heart is that it’s like a mischievous free child. It forgets. It’s always happy, and it’s always hopeful about the future. The greatest cynic in the world cannot deny those moments of weakness, when the dark, gloomy clouds of pain, sadness and disappointment depart, revealing that glimmering all-powerful ray of hope, however small it may be, that love exists. There, far away, somewhere in the distance, it awaits, to be found and to find.

Some believe that love is about another person. No. Love is about ourselves.

And maybe it’s about our love for the greatest love of all– the One who is most loving.

The Light Bulb

Sometimes, I get an overpowering and and extremely interesting thought. It will start off with one idea or question and in a matter of minutes develop into a full-fledged theory in my head. Unfortunately, this usually happens in a very inconvenient time or place, like when I’m about to fall asleep, or during  a road trip, in which I have no inclination or possibility of writing it or recording it somewhere. It’s such a shame because at the moment of conception (so to speak), it seems so innovative and worth exploring.

The problem with voicing such ideas to other people, which I basically never do, is that I know it will not be understood. At least not in the way I have understood it. And no, it’s not because I am more intelligent or capable of having thought processes beyond the average person. It’s because each idea or theory is a result of a series of incoming information that I am processing in a unique way. So unless someone with a very similar mind is exposed to the same information, it will be difficult to relate.

I think this is why I also love talking about films. Because a film, although it is a unique experience to each person, delivers the same exact information to a large number of people. Since everyone is processing the same data so to speak, of course through a personal mental filter, more than likely, you can expect a fair faction of people to relate to your thoughts on that film.

But thoughts based on personal experience or research and knowledge, it’s not so easy for others to relate to or find interesting. It demands many similarities among the individuals. This is probably why support groups are found, because only people who have had similar experiences are able to relate to and help one another.

But on the other hand, if we only tried to communicate with those just like us, we will never obtain new information and ways of thinking. There is something fantastic about the discovery of a new notion. A moment of exhilarating relief when that light bulb goes on. A rush of excitement that such a novel idea exists and has occurred to you. And for that, people have to be willing and not hesitant to share their thoughts and ideas, no matter how strange or complex or unreasonable they may appear. Because let’s face it, all of us live in a small mental bubble of rigidly formed ways of thinking and expectations. There is actually very few new things out there that will not seem strange to us. If you’re open to new ideas however, you can change and adapt yourself. The small rigid mental bubble I described above, is actually not something enforced on us. We can be fluid in our thoughts and beliefs, adapt them and renovate them as we receive more and varying data from our environment. And the only way to do that is not to be afraid of new thoughts and ideas.

Of course, in everything, we have to aspire for a balance. So when I say, welcome new ideas, it doesn’t mean that every other week, you switch to a different political ideology or religion. There are parts of us that perhaps have to remain a bit rigid, so as to give us that sense of belonging and confidence in an ever changing tumultuous world. That can be our family, our religion, our occupation etc. But these core elements of your identity should be as basic as possible, relying on the most general and elementary premise which you know to be true and unflinching. And from that core place, you can still take incoming information and make small renovations as you learn, experience and discover new things… but it will never take away from who you are as a person or cause any traumatic shift in your persona and view. It will only add to you, your character, your depth and understanding as a human being…

Thoughts

I noticed some time ago that I have a knack for writing. It’s not that I consider myself a writer, or exceptionally talented. It’s just that when I write, I am different. I’m something I like, something I want to be. I’d like to believe that I’m a competent speaker as well. But when I write, my thoughts are more fluid and sometimes words come to my mind that I didn’t even know were in my dictionary. It all makes so much sense. It defines me and represents me, in a true and vivid way.

I actually have a blog where I review films. It is in fact through that blog that I discovered this about myself. I realized that what I write, or more importantly, what I think, is worth reading. And often thoughts come to me that cannot be ranted off on a film blog, and consequently this blog has emerged. Its sole purpose is to give my thoughts a virtual space to exist.

Welcome, and enjoy your stay.